Dear Friends,

Well Well Well Friends, you are the remaining list of Anthony's Friends that would like to continue to get emails from him. So congratulate yourselves (or find yourself in the same position Neo did in the first Matrix movie when the other dude said, "I know what you are thinking...I should have taken the blue pill") Needless to say, you love me and want to hear more of me and what's more important I finished posting all the "Dear Friends" letters on the site (in which you can check out down below) so it is time for a Brand New "Dear Friends."

So heeeeeerrrrrrreeeeee we go.

So I have been through a lot the past month or so. Hell actually the past year. See last year about August or so I was playing around in some dirt (as little boys do). I found this piece of glass in the dirt that looked so beautiful and so perfect. I gazed at it for a while and decided finally (even though my parental figures advised me not to) to pick this piece of glass up. I held that piece of glass high in my hands as to say to the world "LOOK WHAT I HAVE! LOOK WHAT I OBTAINED! LOOK WHAT I HAVE THAT YOU DON'T!" But you know what happened?

(say it with me with the ever familiar roll of the eyes)

What Anthony?

The Damn Piece of glass cut me. This beautiful piece of glass put a nice 3 inch sliver down my left hand and I did what any little boy who had just been hurt. I dropped that peice of glass and I ran and hid.

Now let's hop in the Delorian and shoot back to the Future a bit (1.21 gigawats!!!!!)

It's now November 28th, and here I am still wounded from the beautiful glass that turned out to have a sharp deadly edge. But, as luck would have it I found the greatest thing you could find if you had a wound of this stature....I found a Spunge Bob Blue Bandaid. So I put this bandaid on and ooooh boy did this bandaid do everything it was supposed to. It protected my wound. It kept all the stuff I needed in to stay in and it kept all the stuff i needed to keep out....well out. The best part It made my hand look damn good...(after all spunge bob?) But, something happened that I didn't count out.

The bandaid got old.

It got crusty

It lost it's stickyness....

I mean after all it's just a bandaid. It's not like it's part of my skin. Just a temporary fix. I will admit that I wish it was more...(like I said...who would want spunge bob to be a part of them). But the reality of it was it was just a bandaid it did it's job and now it was ready to come off.

So I took it off.

And I missed my spunge bob bandaid. I missed it so much.

But today you know what I realized? My spunge bob bandaid did the best thing it could have ever done....because now I look down at my left hand and I don't see a wound.

My wound has healed. Thanks to you Bob...

Love you guys

Antny

THE FIRST EVER DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!!

Dear Friends,

Well, the Mountain Home Hockey Tournament just ended and we took silver medal. I would love to go into it but, I am sure I will bore you all. Anyway, the reason of this letter is a very slick and sly way of trying to get you all to write me emails. Also, Anthony spends alot of his day thinking up real stupid stuff in his head. And I guess it would be good to get it out. So the deal is so, When I think
up stupid stuff. I will write about it and tell you. Then you send me and email back telling me how retarded I am and we are all happy. :o)

I work in a warehouse all my day. So needless to say, I have alot of time on my hands trying to entertain myself. I also get my choice of work-music and although the MH radio stations are worthy enough to go national, I choose pick a station which you might say is somewhat....well....Dorky. The Oldies station. I know what most of you are saying, "like, sock-hop stuff?" The answer to that question is....well....yes. Love it. Can't get enough. Don't believe me? Fine. Let's go over that facts here. Even though oldies are so geeky it's funny how over 70 nineties artist's have decided to re-record these old songs to makes lot's of money? Still, not convinced? Songs fromt the fifties, sixties, and early seventies are used more for movie soundtracks than any other songs from any other generation combined. Now look if you are looking for your precious songs with Lusty whims take a look at a few Marvin Gaye songs, preferably "let's get it on." What about your passionate/intimate side. Nothing says, "I love you," like the greatest love song of our time....Unchained Melody.....Righteous Brothers. This past decade, society was torn in shreds. One of the many causes of this was the lack of entertainment in this world. The people that I grow up with are the most creative people I know but, without something to entertain them the turn to drinking, drugs and sex to get them through this life. Too bad we are not able to "Twist and Shout," "Mash Potato," or "Shake it Baby" anymore. It seems like would be a bit more exciting. Of course I could just be talking out of my butt because it's six in the morning. Regardless, I probably will never know because no one emails me. :o)

Love you guys,

Antny

Dear Friends,

I used to have a way of thinking that I am completely not proud of. I don't know if anyone else thought this way but, I was a big believer in sypathy. Patronizing my self was almost a daily affirmation in the way that I could not sleep until I found something about my life that was wrong. I understood that I wasn't the only one that had it bad out there. I didn't feel alone. I just felt that I, like many people out in the world today didn't deserve what happens to me on a daily basis. I am not gonna go into things because for the first time in my life I feel like my hardships and problems are not for public use. They shouldn't be flaunted or thrust upon people whatever the intention may be. I do admit that I never once wanted sympathy from another. Yet, I acted as though It was a perverbial "IOU"
that anyone I have every met was branded with at birth. But, as I said...this is the way I used to think.

Today I realized something. I was created. I was placed in the spot that I am in. My life has gone the way it has and, furthermore, I have endured all the laughs, cries, loves, hates for one reason. Because I was made for it. Why would my creator (who ever he or she may be) create me and then throw me into all these tough situations that I can't handle. That's the question I used to ask. But, really there is no question. There is only that answer. That answer: "The only reason I am in this mess is because I have the ability to handle it"

No one plays a video game that's impossible to win. No body plays Volleyball against a bunch of 5 year olds. The reason why is because no one wants to play the game if it's so easy it's ridiculous. Just like no one wants to play if you are guarenteed from the start that you are gonna lose. That's why we all go through what we go through. Because deep down...we have the power to win. We have the power to make it. That's why it's not easy. It's also why it's not so hard that's impossible.

I leave you all with the questions that helped me get over this hump.

What is better than hitting that three-pointer to win the game?

What is better than spiking that getting that slapshot off the ground for the first time after months of practice?

What is better than playing that guitar riff with ease after messing up so many times?

What is better than than winning, when you know you worked so hard for it and despite everyone else telling you it couldn't be done....you did it.

Why? Cause you were made to do it.

love you guys.

Anthony

Dear Friends,

I had a friend once. It always seemed like this friend was hiding things from me. It seemed like my friend was intentionally trying to hurt me. I didn't understand why because I never did anything to hurt this person. So one day I heard something bad that this person did. It made me very angry. So angry that I envisioned what I was gonna say to this person when I saw them. Boy was I gonna let them have it. They would never experience the guilt that I was gonna put them through. I planned out each word. Every excuse that was a possibility of being offered...I had a harsh comeback for. After all, this is hard love we are talking about. Take no prisoners. I
am the one at who is hurting. This person doesn't have a heart. They don't cry when it's shattered like I do. The only thing this person is doing is purposely trying to hurt me. Then it happens. I see my friend. And BAMMMMMMM. I let my friend have it. My friend looked at me with shocked eyes. Trying to play me for a fool. Trying to tell me that they were the victim..but, I knew better. I mean, come on....who should I trust? My friend who I have known since he was born? Or a person I have never even met?


I'm so stupid...

Love you guys,

Antny

Dear Friends,

Oooooooooooweeeeoooooweeeoooh Iiiiiiiiii
Ohhhhh I'm still alive! Yeah ye Yeah Iiiiii
Ohhh I'm Still alive

Ok probably a bad Pearl Jam impression but, everyone gets the point. I am just writing real quick to let you all know that I love you and I am "Still Alive"

I want you all to think about Thursday. I don't know why or what for just think about it. Thursday is gonna be the biggest day of your lives. Something huge is gonna happen. It might seem bad at first but, in the end it will help. Or it could be something you have been waiting for. Whatever this life changing thing is....it is big. Thursday. Thursday. Thursday. I don't know what it is but, my NEPO is telling me it's big. Keep your eyes open and when Thursday comes rolling around I want you to indentify the event, whatever it may be, and tell me about it. (Even you Jennifer White). Remember it might not be important to anyone else but you. The thing is
though, if it is important to you...that makes it important. That's why I want to know what it is. Details people. I have about 32 friends on my Dear Friends list which means I should be reading 32 emails on Thursday (and deleting the 60 emails that I get daily about all the "Contests" I won). Thursday. Something is gonna happen. Are you Ready for it? I sure as hell am.

Love you guys.

Antny

Dear Friends,

So no one called me.

Nobody emailed me either.

But, you know what. I am glad. I am. Truthfully. NO SARCASM.

I used to tell a story to people all the time hopeing that it might help them in the walk of life. In my head, it made sense and had a wonderful point. See, I believe, everyone is born with certain devils in their lives. Bad things that have just "always been there." Things that you have always done. Whether it's a personality flaw. Whether it's a pridefull thought. Whether it is something blatantly obvious or something hidden deep down inside. Whatever these "devils" are...everyone has them. And it's everyone's job to discover them and rid their lives of them. That was the big line I used. Makes ya think. Well, it might have made you think. But, you know....it never really made me think. Nope. I just continued on feeling like I "helped" someone. Feeling like I just did good. Good job Anthony, you saved someone.

Moron.

How can someone who analizes everything about life be so blind and stupid to miss this big thing? This great gigantic 2 by 4 sticking out of your eye? How did you miss that? How did you not realize what you were doing? And then the worst part is....you rant and rave about some sort of respect or love or pat on the back that you think you deserve?

I am not entitled to anything. I am not entitled to love, friendships, or anything else that I have in my life. I don't deserve these things that I am getting. And I definetely don't deserve the things I am not getting. I don't even deserve to have you guys read these letters each time something pops into my head. Yet, for almost 22 years of my life I lived everyday thinking I do. Expecting my "time" to come. Expecting everyone to realize how "great" of a person I am. I am not great. I am not even good. Being good is not doing everything in your power to control the thoughts and actions of your peers. Being good is not even an action. Being good....is
smiling and giving me a hug even though I do things that disgust you. Being good is listening to me whine about my life on the phone, knowing the the true problem lies within myself and yet saying nothing because you know now is not the time. Being good is getting the courage to tell me the truth when it is the right time. Hell, that's not just being good....that's is what is great. That is what seperates the people who think they are special from the people that truely are in this world. I have a confession to make. For a long time I thought I was special. I thought I was sent here for you guys. To help you. To be here for you. To be your friend. But,
today....I realized.....It was you guys that were sent here for me. You guys are the special ones. I am just a normal guy with just as many "devils" as the next person. I guess it's time to start eating my words and finding out what those devils are.

Thank you.

Love you guys

Anthony

Dear Friends,

There is a person I dislike. I use the word dislike because, if I say anything else this letter will turn into an HBO special. But, I really dislike this person. Ever since the moment I met this person, I have disliked them. Countless numbers of times have I tried to find a way to like this person but, I have failed on each occasion. So I try and stay away from this person but, often this person sneaks into my life, takes their shoes off and makes themself at home. I don't ask them to. But, yet they do. This person comes to my house
and ruins a perfectly good day. This person visits me at work. Even sometimes when I am about to go to sleep this person comes and wakes me right up. I dislike stuff like that. I dislike people like that. Why is it when I am happy and life is going good, this person shows up and makes it miserable. I don't understand. That is when I think to myself and wonder. Maybe this person needs
me. Maybe, they are lonely or maybe this person cannot live with out me. Maybe they need people like me to survive on this earth. Like humans and plants, who exchange oxogen and carbon dioxide, this person exchanges some sort of need to go on living with me. Maybe I get something in return. It is just hidden within my mind or I am handicapped by a natural immaturity and cannot comprehend it. Or maybe the person is here right now. All I know is this person will never go away. So I better look forward to
a long life with them.

Love you guys

Antny

P.S. Can you guess what this person's name is?

Dear Friends,

Let me supply the scenario and/or situation for you. This involves three subjects.....Guy-A, Guy-B, and Gal-A. We will call them Peter Paul and Mary for clearity upon the story in which I am about to tell. Let's say that Peter and Mary are dating. They have been together for about a month or so but, like any other teenage relationship they have already committed to giving their "I love you"'s and truely believe that they will be together for ever. Along come Paul. He knows vaguely of Peter and Mary and really has no opinion on the too......until that is....he meets Mary. Right from the start he is interested in her and becomes somewhat obsessed in a hidden way. He starts his day thinking of her, and ends it with a dream of her. Finally he admits to himself he is in love with her and has to do something about it. Peter and Mary are now going on their second month, having a few problems but, because of the early
commitment they have made, find it impossible to break up. Paul has now become Mary's bestfriend. He hears all the drawbacks that Peter has and has become her main source of advice. Though he tries to hide it Paul let's his love for Mary heavily influence the advice he dispences to Mary and before the third month......Mary finally breaks up with Peter. Paul now, imitating the good friend that he is not, seeks to console Mary in hopes that she will realize he is the one for her. But, as fate has it (and it almost always works this way) Mary opens up Paul's chest, removes his heart and slices it into a million pieces by remarking the words, "I only like you as a FRIEND."

It's funny, you might have been bored or thought this story was stupid but, if you look back (or forward) into each of your lives you played the part of atleast one of these characters....:o)

Love you guys,

Antny

Dear Friends,

So there is this teddy bear. He is a cute cuddly little teddy bear. Never does anything wrong. All he wants in life are three things...

1) He wants to be in the BEAR PARADE. The biggest Teddy Bear event in Teddy Bear History of course. He doesnt' care if he is in front of all the other bears or anything like that. He just wants to be in the parade for once in his teddy bear life.
2) He wants to just go out on one date...ONE DATE...with the girlie bear of his dreams. With out anything going wrong....especially HIS TEDDY BEAR CAR BREAKING DOWN!!!!
3) He wants a Mitsubishi 3000 GT.

Now, This little cute, cuddly bunny...er...teddy bear is not a bad teddy bear. He enjoys life and overly gives himself for others (and not just others but, all the very bad little teddy bears out there.....shall we call them the "Trailer Doods"). He continues to help others before himself and is satisfied with that for he thinks someday....he will be rewarded.

Then...

A flamming ball of Cow-Dung falls out of the sky and nails this smaller than the average teddy bear. Next thing you know he is up to his ears in Crap.

Why does this happen? What did this cute little cuddly teddy bear deserve to have crap heaved at him. For that matter, who is heaving the crap? Finally what did this Crap-Heaver eat that makes his crap stink so badly. Little chunks of....anyway, I am off the subject.

Look into your lives. Is there a teddy bear that helps you out all the time being crapped on? Do me a favor and offer him or her and umbrella. I wish someone would offer me one.

I love you guys.

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I did it but, I couldn't help my self
it snuck up on me really
I was suprised myself
I never even seen it coming
I was just with you one day and to my suprise it popped out and grabbed me
I didn't want it to happen
I didn't want to complicate things
I just wanted life to be normal but, no
it had to change
and it has changed hasn't it
respect has been lost
why?
because the friendship was not strong enough to handle a blow like this
we were too weak
fragile
there was no way of knowing that the rope would break
but, now it has and I am powerless to stop it from sinking into the abyss
the abyss of loneliness
The abyss of where so many friendships that were never born will rest
So many wonderful memories that will never be because I was selfish enough to go and do what I did
At first I thought it would be good
We could share our lives
Hours of talking, chatting
realization of how many things we have in common or how many we don't have in common but, find so interesting
Our lives intertwine, music being the glue
we simultanisously aid each other as if we are the medicine that each other have been looking for
I am amazed at your beauty, and willingness to move on even all that has happened
we learn from each other
and care for one another
and believe in one another
because I believe in you
I do
but, maybe that's what got me in this mess
You being so Godly
So heavenly
So unbelievable that my eyes grew bigger than my stomach
I thought I could obtain this magic
But, I can't
And I see now what my attempt has done
It's ruined any chance I had with you
It's derailed any relationship that was on track
It's wilted any flower that was meant to bloom
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for this
For I know that there is no way that I can repay you



That was written for all the girls out there that were mortified the day they found out, "Anthony Doria has a crush on you."

Love you guys,

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

This is a very special Dear Friends letter. It is kinda like a Mission Statement for the Dear Friends letter that I send out. See I just had maybe one of the best weekends in my life. I was kinda down in the dumps lately. Not for any previously mentioned problems. No my buddy Matt put it very elequently when he said, "Life just sucks right now." Of course I am no stranger to life "sucking" nor trying to make the best of it when it does inhale wind rather rapidly but for some reason I am in a slump and can't seem to climb out. Then it happened. I check my email, (don't let this fool you usually it is empty) and I read the email that changed the down/depressing weekend into a exciting/Fun/NEPO weekend. I know what you are thinking: What could possibly change my mood from curl-up-in-a-ball Sad to dance-in-the-streets-naked Happy? My Boys cam to town. Actually not just my boys but my friends. The friends that love me regardless of where I am or what I do. The Friends that believe in me and are interested in my life. The Friends that don't let distance change feelings there friendship for me. These are the friendships that last ages. I haven't talked to
these friends for at least 4 to 5 months and they showed up with smiles on their faces and a big fat pound of NEPO to throw in the mix. Now I don't want you guys to think I am getting soft (for those of you that know me you are probably saying, "getting?"). But, there many things I am thankful for but, few deserve it as much as my friends. It's a sobering thought to know that when I am either Rich and Famous or a old poor bum scrapping for food there are two things that will always hold true:

1. I will never get a date with Kerri Maxwell. (believe me I've tried)
2. My friends will always love me.

They will always be there. Quoting the next line from a movie. Creating the next Holiday. Learning the next N'SYNC dance move. Going to the next Blink 182 Concert. Driving to the next town for some peace and quiet. Shooting down the next Exxon Tiger. Helping a friend in a lonely situation (you know who you are). Recording the next Video skit. Needing advice on the next girl. The next guy. The next life. The next life decision. And the next moment that you wait earnestly to see your friends again. To
experience the love and happiness that you can't help to endure. That's what I did this weekend.

Oh and I got piss-drunk too.


I love you guys and girls.

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

Have you ever felt dead. Completely useless to the world. Stuck in this bubble of crap with no way out? The last month or so that was me in a nutshell (please....no nutshell jokes). I came to a dead end last night. A place where I had two choices.....Quit, go home and go to sleep....or bend over, take it up the tail pipe and assume leadership. I fortunately chose the second one. After a looo-haaa-aaaat of discussing with my self what the right move was....I knew what I needed to do. And that's where NEPO came back again my friends. If any of you ever said to yourself, "What the hell is he talking about?" This email will explain NEPO in the best way I can.

Here we go.

Once I , again, chose the right path in life I was rewarded. This "reward" may not seem large to anyone else but, to me it meant the world. (No Jennifer White didn't ask me out....she's in Chi-Town at Ozzfest....Good guess though.) It was one simple phone call. I didn't recieve anything. I didn't win or lose anything. I just got a phone call. But that one phone call made me break out of my shell that I have been living in for the last month. (Please.....no Ninja Turtle jokes) See I have a specific purpose for myself on this planet.....sometimes I stray away from it...that's when NEPO leaves. But, when I realize I have been drifted off the path and correct myself....NEPO returns. NEPO is the feeling you get when you laugh uncontrollably at a joke only you and your best friend would understand. NEPO is when you see that spark in your girlfriends smile. NEPO is when everything seems to work out....you don't know why. But, most of all NEPO is when you know your life is on the right track. Everyone has a NEPO, the only problem is....some people try to deny that it is there....But it is....I have proof.

Love you guys...

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

Our lives often revolve around one thing and one thing only. Ourselves. This is not a "conceited" rant or far from it. It is more of just an analyzation that has occured to me over that last few days. Everyone on this earth has one thing in common. No matter what skin color. No matter what Gender. No matter what physical attribute anyone possesses, everyone's life revolves around themselves. Of course this is not a bad thing. I have been a long-time advicate of "Being your own person" and "living life the way you see fit" but, the one drawback everyone receives with controling their own lives is they have no power over the fate that is intended for another. Infact, short of Miss Cleo, no one even has the power to comprehend what might happen in someone else's life in a month. A week. One night. One moment. Although I understand the grave danger that would accompany this power, this weekend for a moment I wish I possessed it. I wish I knew the future. I wish I was allowed to change it. It was then that I realized that I was revolved around my own life. I was wrapped up in my plans. Constantly debating my next move. Because shockingly, at two in the morning, I received some news. The type of phone call that no wants wants to hear and then begs for it not to be real in duration. The phone call that you wish was just a freakish nightmare to remind you that your friend misses you. That you miss her. The phone call that gives you that feeling of emptyness in a split second. The phone call that above all else has the power to stop your self-revolved life dead in it's tracks. The phone call that humble reports that your friend has passed away.

To a friend that showed great love. To a friend who was always the first one to reply to my emails. To a friend who always was there to listen to me bitch, complain, cry, whine, talk, gush, and goof. To a friend who heard me cry. To a friend who heard me laugh. To a friend who I could always go to no matter what the hour. Most importantly, to a friend who probably understood but more importantly accepted me more than a lot of people have ever even attempted.

I love you and I will miss you Ruby.

Now you are in Heaven....where the song "Whip it" is forbidden :o)

Anthony

Dear Friends,

Sometimes I wonder what I could have been. Where I could have gone. Who I could know. Everyday each and everyone of us is faced with certain life-changing decisions that may lead us on a new path. Each day we make those decisions and waltz through the next entrance of the maze that precedes us. Can you imagine for a moment though where you would be if you chose diferantly? If you would have went to college? If you would have said yes to that guy? Or if you would have said no? If you would have not gone along on the "Greatest Road Trip Ever" to Pittsburgh? If, as you sat staring at each other smiling, you would have just leaned over and kissed her? If you would have waited a week to search for a diferant place to live? If you would have been born in Alaska? Hawaii? Los Angelos? Delaware?

Ok not Delaware... (No offense to the lovely citizens of Delaware)

But, you understand my point. What would you being doing right now if you would have chosen door #3 instead of two? If you would have taken the money? If you would have not told her that you liked her? If you did tell her? If you listened to your mother? If you quit when you said you were gonna. If you kept on going even though everyone told you to quit? If Kerri Maxwell actually did go out on a date with you! And when she did you didn't enjoy it? If you said hi to the guy next to you even though he scares you? If you didn't talk to the less-than reputable girl running the laundry mat. If you did forgive even though you had no reason to? If you went left instead of right. If you didn't play her the song your wrote. If you hit that car in front of you.

If you read this email instead of deleting it?

Would it be weird?

I guess the question really is. Would you be happier? Or did you make the right decisions? That question can really be answered by another. Are you a person who regrets their decisions or the ones they ran from? Sometimes I don't really know who I am. I know who I want to be but if you sit and watch people now-a-days, you will realize that the world is made up of people fighting over who they are and who they want to be. Or at least I know that's how I am. I know what I want to be.....yet many subconcious moments I fall into who I am and am imprisoned with out knowing it. That's why I think it's good for myself and anyone else that can relate to this to stop and review your life for a moment. Take all the things that I think I am and size them up with my actual life. If it doesn't equal out then I am doing something wrong.

Then go buy yourself some Little Debbies' as a reward. The one's with the chocolate chips are good. :o)

Love you Guys,

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
That is what I truely want to be
For if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me....

I am glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer Weiner
That is what I NEVER want to be
Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Everybody would try to eat me....

----------------------------------------

Two kids...Two completely differant opinions of the same long, tasty item. Who is right? I mean is it better to be a Weiner or not? On one hand everyone wants you but, on the other hand the price to pay for popularity is being eaten! That itself brings up a good point. What if people couldn't eat you anymore. What if you were just not offering yourself up for mutilation? Would everyone want you anymore? Would they praise you with songs? Would they know that your cousin (bologna) has a first name? And if that's not enough would they go through the trouble of spelling it out? Or would they give up on you and visit a Ballpark instead? How quickly would someone change their attitude about your hotdoggity goodness just because you didn't comply with their every desire? Would they respect the fact that you don't want to be eaten. That you just want to stay in the package with your brothers and relax with the lunchmeat. Getting a tan off the flouresent light. Cruising the dairy section to pick up some chicks. Poking fun at the overweight folk from the Little Debbie section. Hanging out with your buddies from the frozen foods.

Boy, those guys are crazy...

Crazy?

I was crazy once....they locked me in a room...I lived there...I died there....they buried me in the ground...worms live in the ground..

Worms?

I hate worms...they make me crazy...

Crazy?

I was crazy once....


:o)

I love you Weiners...

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

I'll be honest. I have been trying to write a "Dear Friends" letter all day long. I was trying and trying. I turned on my computer about 8 times and almost sent at least three letters. But, it all didn't seem right. I mean, it was a letter. It might have been filled with cooky humor. Thoughts on my life...or other peoples lives. One had a poem. One had a funny thought. One of them even involved a bucket of ice cubes and a nine iron. (What movie is that from?)

I guess what it all came down to was, it wasn't real. It was like I was trying to do it not because it flowed out of me but, because I felt like I had to. I felt like it was my duty to write. Not just for all of you but, for myself as well. When you decide to become a writer in any form whether musical or not you get to a point sometimes where you think to yourself, "What happens if I stop writing?"

That is when you will stop writing. That is when your ability to capture feelings, emotions, thoughts and so on will be subsided. It's at that point when worrying so much about what you do affects what you do. Or at least that is how it is for me. Maybe you are differant. And if you are I simply say, "Good for you." I may come off sometimes like I am preaching to others on how to live life or how there idea of how to live life is wrong. But, I assure you all that those are not my intentions. They shouldn't ever be. I would never wish any of you to think you have to change your lives, thoughts, dreams or anything else that is important to you to make me or anyone else happy. See although it seems like I jumped themes in this "Dear Friends" I really didn't. Writing is exactly like life in the way that once you start worrying about it....that is when it starts going bad. Once you start thinking, "I hope I am doing this write." that is when you end up messing up. Please don't confuse this with a question of Pride because that is not what I am talking about. What I am discussing is more of a question of Confidence. Being confident that you are you. And if nobody likes that then it's there loss not yours. If you the girl of your dreams doesn't want you (or is a Radio D.J. for the Point and you will never have the chance to marry her because she is famous...:o) then there is no need to sacrifice the things that make you happy. What is important is that you take bit of advice people give you.....but, you also take it with a grain of salt. I might be the wisest person in the world or I may be the dumbest. The trick is to not to depend on me or anyone else to give you the answers. They might not be right but, they may point you in the right direction. The direction to being happy in life.

Anyway, I better go. Big Daddy's gonna be on soon and God strike me down now if I missed that.

I love you guys.

Anthony Doria

Dear Friends,

Well, what can I say. It just wouldn't be a "Dear Friends" if you my life didn't hand me out lemons by the barrel full. I am actually convinced that I live underneath a lemon tree and everytime a ray of sunshine shines thru to my little meaningless life another lemon magically grows in that spot. So what do I do? I mean truthfully, what do I do. Let's analyze the situation shall we. I can complain, cry, moan, weep, bitch, yell, scream, guilt, or anything else that would grab someone's attention. But, I don't want to do that. Infact, that is what this letter started out as. A cry for help...actually more than a cry for help. It was a cry to realize that I exist and moreover, it was an attempt to force you into being interested in me. See that is my problem. Selfishness mixed with Loneliness and you get Anthony. A guy who can't stand to sit in a house by himself all night long so he secretly draws up fake fate. Yup. Fake Fate. You know when you meet someone and you instantly know that you are gonna have a long-lasting relationship with them. Whether it be friendship, love or otherwise. There is always that feeling that you have. You know the one. Right before you
go to bed. Where you know that this day is a special day in the story that is your life. If your life was a WB t.v. show this would be the season premier. Everyone knows the feeling that I am talking about because everyone has had it at one point or another. (In which has probably led you to your plans this Thursday.....no.....we won't mention what day that is) But, me? Oh how I long for that feeling. And oh how easy it is for me to fraudently create it. Against Fate. Fate says, "this isn't supposed to happen." But, I say, "YES IT IS!" because I yearn to have that feeling so badly. I am human. I am not some weird crazy person who doesn't have
feelings. I get lonely too. Just like everyone else. Whether this justifies my actions? I don't know. But, I do know that if life hand's you a lemon you should make lemonade.....but, sometimes.........I get sick of drinking lemonade. I want to drink what everyone else is drinking.

I love you guys.

Anthony Doria